In my last two posts I had very specific points that I wanted to hit when I was writing them. I knew exactly what I wanted to talk about, and the words flowed from my fingers like water.
Today, I don’t know what my purpose is. I just have a million thoughts in my head and I’m going to put them down into words. I apologize if you can’t figure out my meaning or the end goal for writing it. But as promised, I’m going to be me, and I don’t always make sense. Sometimes even I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about! So here goes.
One phrase that I’ve always heard from childhood is that God laughs in the face of our plans. I have never found anything to be more true. When I was in middle school and early high school trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life, never in a million years did I believe that I’d pursue a career in the military or be married to another woman by the time I turned 20. I pictured the “typical” timeline; graduate college, get a good job, get married and have kids. Never could I have foreseen the paths that I would go down after graduating high school. I never pictured traveling the U.S. from west coast to east while being paid to do so. I never foresaw meeting the love of my life in basic training, or getting married a few months later so that we could hopefully be stationed on the same side of the country.
I’ve learned to go with the flow as best I can. Not that it’s been easy, because these last three years have been the hardest of my life. I left my tiny hometown in the Midwest so that I could serve a greater purpose and discover who I am. While doing that I coincidentally met my wife, and we faced being stationed across the country from each other. That fear sped up the timeline that I’d always visualized in my head, and I found myself married at 19 years old. Had someone told me when I was 15 years old that I would A. Be in the military and B. Get married before I was 20 years old… I probably would have fainted in disbelief. Add the fact that I was married and unable to live with my spouse... to say that my plans had not come to fruition would be an understatement.
But this journey has brought me so much more than I anticipated, and I don’t have a single regret. I was able to buy my first car and build my credit from nonexistent to great (by my standards mind you) in a matter of a year. I got to move across the country and see so many stunning places that I didn’t even know existed, and meet some of the most inspirational people that would come to be my closest and most treasured friends. I got married to an amazing woman that never ceases to amaze me and always sticks with me, and together we purchased our first home with a big backyard for our two puppies to run their hearts out in. I’m beyond grateful for all of the blessings I’ve received, some of which I have admittedly taken for granted in the process, and others that I’m still stunned to have been able to accomplish. Since joining the military, I’ve stretched and expanded my expectations of life, and I desire so much more than I did even four years ago. The way I perceive the world, and how I want to make an impact varies so greatly from the ways I had imagined when I lived in my small country town. I have a thirst for adventure and a craving for travel I’ve never had before, and a passion to grow my relationships and discover more about myself.
Ultimately I want to be a better me, live an amazing life, and do everything under the sun before my time is up on this earth. I’m sorry if you are left feeling puzzled after reading this, but stay tuned for more and enjoy the ride!